My Love/Hate realtionship with medication

I remember a time when I didn’t have health insurance.  I was miserable because I couldn’t afford to get my meds, let alone see a specialist to prescribe them to me.  I couldn’t wait to get a job with health benefits to ease my daily struggle with chronic pain.  When I finally did and got my first prescription filled, I breathed a deep sigh of relief.  Hallelujah, I had meds to make me feel better again!  Now, sometimes when I fill my prescriptions, I actually mutter a little curse under my breath.  Oh, how times can change.  I don’t know about anyone else who takes multiple meds on a daily basis, but sometimes I actually resent having to take them.  They are an unwelcome necessity for me and will be for the rest of my life, thanks to my Lupus.  Part of my issue is the financial burden (nope, can’t buy those cute new shoes, I gotta pay for my meds!), or the physical burden of being fed up with side effects (fatigue and weight gain – sign me up!) and, other times it’s the psychological burden of having to depend on something for the rest of my life.  Not to mention the monthly blood work I need to make sure the meds that are supposed to be helping me aren’t in fact damaging me.  Don’t get me wrong, my meds help immensely, and I know I should be grateful that they exist, but some days (this being one of them), I just wish I could forget all about them.  So, I’ve decided that I need to do something to make taking my pills an enjoyable (or at least tolerable) experience.  I’m on the hunt for a unique and pretty pill box.  Something that will inspire me or make me smile when I look at it.  Maybe something musical that plays a song to make me do a happy dance.  I’m not sure yet.  All I do know is I find those plastic pill minders at the pharmacy depressing and have avoided buying one, even though I need one desperately.  So for now, I’ll remind myself of how I felt – physically and emotionally – when I couldn’t get the meds I needed and focus on being grateful that I have access to something that can help me.  In the meantime, let me know if any of you ever find a pretty, musical pill box 🙂


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